


Easy to Begin

by billiethepoet



Series: Love is Like War [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 15:17:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billiethepoet/pseuds/billiethepoet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop</i>
</p>
<p>Vanessa Clarke is a track star turned jaeger pilot with a weakness for smart men and ass kicking. Between Hermann Gottlieb coming to her Shatterdome and kaiju attacks, it's a good time to be Vanessa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easy to Begin

Vanessa flings open the door of Newt’s lab with the hollow sound of metal smacking into metal. It’s almost entirely drowned out by the volume of Newt’s music pounding through the large speakers connected to one of his computers. 

She strides across the lab and pulls the plug on the speakers before even saying hello. 

“You’re lucky I like you. Men have lost eyes for silencing my tunes.” Newt doesn’t bother to look up from whatever it is he’s cutting apart. By now, Vanessa is sure he’s used to her interruptions. Who is she kidding. He probably loves them. 

“I came to see if your new lab partner has landed yet. But judging by the annoyingly loud heavy metal music, I guess not.” She props a hip against Newt’s worktable, unbothered by the kaiju guts spilling and seeping their bilious fluid onto the table top. She’s killed enough of them that their insides barely warrant a second glance. Maybe she and Carmen even killed this one. 

She watches him cut and pull for a few moments before she chimes in again. “He’s not going to let you have the run of this place anymore, you know.” 

“Dude, have you been stalking the good Dr. Gottlieb before he even arrives? I know the Dome is short on eligible bachelors but that’s a new low.” 

Vanessa uses the edge of her long red fingernail to flick the back of Newt’s ear. “He made the jaegers work. Of course I’m curious about him.” She smiles broadly, berry sweet lips spreading over bright white teeth. “If he’s cute, that’s just a bonus.” 

Newt rolls his eyes. “He’s not. A journal published a headshot with some symposium speech he gave.” Newt purses his lips and squints his eyes. “He’s sort of… I don’t know. Duck lipped and sour faced? Like he sucked on a lemon or someone kicked his puppy.” 

Vanessa laughs while Newt pushes his lips and sucks in his cheeks. “I reserve judgment until I meet him. You know I love scientists.” She drapes herself suggestively across the portion of his worktable not covered in kaiju blue and bats her eyelashes. 

“Ew.” Newt recoils. It’s over-exaggerated and ridiculous, which is some of the things she loves most about Newt. “You’re getting your heterosexuality all over my lab.” 

She stands straight again, still smiling at Newt. “How are those American twins, by the way?” 

Newt sighs dramatically and goes back to cutting into the flesh in front of him. “Tall, muscular, and untouchable. I covet from afar.” 

“Someday, your hot, muscular, gay prince will come.” 

Newt waves his scalpel to take in the lab around him. “Absolutely. And until then I have other things to occupy my time. Now, plug my fucking music back in.” 

Vanessa picks up a biology journal from Newt’s desk. “Only if you promise to turn it down so I can read.” 

“Deal.” 

She plugs in the speakers and he keeps his word to lower the volume. Vanessa settles into the beaten up plaid couch Newt bribed some of the J-tech crew to drag into his lab shortly after he set up shop. She doesn’t understand half of what she reads in Newt’s journals, but it hardly matters. The half that does get through is interesting, and may help her fight kaiju, so it’s worth it. If she’s not training, or in her jaeger, she has nowhere else she’d rather be than spending time with Newt. 

They were an odd couple for sure. Most jaeger pilots stick together, and she is close to Carmen, but Newt very quickly became her closest friend when she was assigned to the Anchorage Shatterdome. She’s far from home, the climate is incredibly different, and Newt makes her laugh. That’s all there is to it, really. Vanessa folds her legs up as tightly as she can and keeps reading, Newt’s occasional singing cutting into her concentration. 

She stays that way, working through a few articles, until her stomach starts to growl. Newt probably won’t go to lunch with her, he barely leaves the lab during the day, but it’s worth a shot. Vanessa’s feet hit the floor the same moment the lab door opens. 

Marshall Stacker Pentecost strides in, his long legs carving out a space for himself in the openness of the lab. Slightly behind him is a smaller man leaning heavily on a cane. He catches himself and straightens as much as possible when he notices other people in the room. 

“Dr. Geiszler,” Pentecost’s voice rumbles through the lab. “This is your new lab mate, Dr. Hermann Gottlieb.”

Of course, Dr. Gottlieb isn’t new to the PPDC. He’s been there since day one. Everyone knows he’s the one that wrote the original jaeger program. Pilots drift but Dr. Gottlieb is the reason they can connect with their giant metal monsters. He’s just new to the Anchorage Shatterdome and Newt’s lab. They are starting to lose and Pentecost is circling his wagons, even his research staff.

Vanessa watches as Newt wipes his hands across the front of his jeans and bounds over to Dr. Gottlieb, like an overenthusiastic puppy. He thrusts his arm out, straight and strong. “Nice to meet you, Hermann. Call me Newt. Only my mother calls me doctor.” That line was tired when Newt first used it on Vanessa more than two years ago. Who knows how many times he’d used it even before that?

Dr. Gottlieb reluctantly shakes Newt’s hand. “Dr. Geizsler, you may call me Dr. Gottlieb.” His lips curl back and his nose crinkles so that he looks like he just smelled the burning ammonia scent of freshly dead kaiju. Laughter peals from Vanessa throat in waves.

Pentecost nods toward Vanessa’s position near the battered couch. “And this is Ranger Vanessa Clarke, co-pilot of the Delta Dash.”

Vanessa crosses the lab to join them, and if she adds a bit more swing to her hips than usual, who cares? Gottlieb is much cuter than Newt described him, regardless of the slim pickings in the Dome.

She extends a hand to Gottlieb, not really expecting him to take it. He does, with more enthusiasm than he took Newt’s she thinks, and she lets her shock spread out into a slow smile and a quirk of her eyebrow. “Vanessa, please. It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Gottlieb.” His hand is warm and steady against her palm.

His brows come together at the sound of her voice. “You’re from the Caribbean?”

It’s not the first time Vanessa and Carmen have heard that question. She nods. “Delta is an American-built Mark 3 but they needed the fastest pilots for the fast robot. So Marshall Pentecost recruited us. We may not be in the Pacific, but we wanted to fight.”

Gottlieb drops her hand with a scowl. “Don’t call them robots. Robot indicates that the jaegers are just mechanical agents run by circuitry and programming. They are…more than that.”

_Oh._ Vanessa’s smile softens. “I agree, Dr. Gottlieb. I think you and I are going to get along very well.”

Gottlieb stares up at her a bit wide eyed until Newt clears his throat. “Vanessa spends a lot of her down time in the lab. She’s a bit of a science groupie.” He cackles at the old inside joke, but Vanessa keeps her eyes on Gottlieb.

She shrugs. “It’s not my area but I like to know as much as I can.”

“As much as you can about what, Ranger Clarke? About kaiju?”Gottlieb is still looking at her, completely ignoring Newt. Vanessa’s quite pleased with that actually.

If his shoulders weren’t hunched, and if his back were straight instead of leaning over his cane, Vanessa thinks she may only be an inch or two taller than he is. Not such a great distance. She could still wear small heels. “About anything that I can, Dr. Gottlieb.”

“Ranger Clarke believes I recruited her for her speed, but it wasn’t just that. Both she and Ranger Williams are also intelligent and driven. Both are necessary qualities in a successful jaeger pilot.” A compliment from Pentecost is rare and Vanessa feels herself straightening under his gaze.

“Thank you, sir. We try not to disappoint.” She’s too cheeky for her own good sometimes. But Pentecost smiles back.

“Now that introductions are over, I’ll show Dr. Gottlieb to the mess. Dr. Gottlieb?” Pentecost turns toward the door before Gottlieb has a chance to respond.

“Whoa, Marshall. Hold up. I have necropsy results on some of the samples from the Lima attack and-“

“-Later Dr. Geizsler. After I have Dr. Gottlieb settled.”

Vanessa has never been one to miss an opportunity and she’s certainly not going to start now. “Actually, sir, if you’d like to stay to hear Newt’s report, I’m happy to escort Dr. Gottlieb to lunch.” 

There’s a flash of _something_ across Gottlieb’s face but he quickly schools his expression back to its resting sour face before Vanessa can process what that _something_ is. He clears his throat before turning back to Pentecost. “Sir, I can find the mess myself if you’ll just point me in the right direction.” Gottlieb’s smile is forced, his polite tone strained. 

“Dr. Gottlieb, go with Clarke.” Pentecost’s command voice is something no one argues with, not even the newbie. 

Vanessa tosses her braids over her shoulder, tiny beads at their ends clicking together, as she waves goodbye to Newt. He’s already got his back to her but manages to throw a middle finger in her general direction. She laughs and Gottlieb frowns. It’s old hat for her and Newt and she hopes Gottlieb will fall in line with their antics soon enough, but another look at his pinched face only fuels her doubts. Still, he is cute. 

***************  
They’ve missed most of the lunch rush and the mess is only a third full. Vanessa thinks about picking up his tray and carrying it to the table for him but he seems to manage well enough with the cane in one hand and the tray balances on his open palm. Once she’s certain he can carry his tray and follow her, she leads them to a quiet corner of the mess. 

“So, the Marshall recruited you because you’re fast?” Gottlieb’s lib curls as if his own attempt at small talk is repulsive to him. Vanessa grins again. It seems she can’t keep the smile off her face around Gottlieb. 

“My co-pilot, Carmen, and I were training with the Jamaican National Track and Field team. This seemed more important.” 

“Not many people would give up what they were working for to travel to godforsaken Alaska and fight monsters.”

“You would.” Vanessa tilts her head and laces her fingers under her chin. “As soon as the jaeger program was suggested, you jumped on board and made it a reality. We have the jaegers because of you.” 

Gottlieb blushes and ducks his head. If Vanessa didn’t find him cute before that would have sealed it for her. “But they operate as intended because you and the other rangers pilot them. I didn’t do that.” 

“Maybe you should try it. We’d just need to find you someone you’re drift compatible with.” His blush goes a brighter red and Vanessa realizes that teasing this man could quickly become a hobby. 

He ignores her and primly cuts up a few bites of meatloaf. She can wait him out. After all, it’s not as if being in his company is tedious. He chews and swallows. She’s always been very patient. Their meal is almost finished, her coffee cup almost empty, before he speaks up again. 

“I sincerely doubt you would find anyone who could drift with me.” His voice is quiet and level. He presents this as a statement of fact, not something to be proud of or embarrassed by. Just the way it is. 

“You may be surprised, Dr. Gottlieb.” Vanessa rises from the table. “I can see you back to the lab, if you’re finished.” 

Gottlieb follows her quietly all the way to the lab doors. He finally speaks up with his hand pressed to the closed metal door. “You come to the lab often then?” It would sound like a bad pick up line if not for the genuine strain of hope and uncertainty Vanessa hears in his voice. 

“I try not to bother Newt too much, but I come down whenever I have time.” 

“So you and Dr. Geiszler are…?”

“We’re close. We spend a lot of time together.” And oh, yes, teasing this man is definitely more fun than it should be. 

He just nods at that and pushes open the door. A wave of heavy metal music ricochets out into the hall. Gottlieb straightens his spine and steels himself like a man going off to war. Which is a comparison Vanessa can easily believe.

The last thing she hears before the slamming of the metal lab door is a very stern “Dr. Geiszler!” being shouted above the music. 

***************  
The next time Vanessa sees him, she’s coming from the training gym. Maybe sweats and t-shirt isn’t her best look but Gottlieb definitely looks twice so it can’t be all bad. 

“Dr. Gottlieb.” She stops dead in front of him and he has to pull up short to keep from running into her. His cane only narrowly misses banging into her shin. 

“Good evening, Ranger Clarke.” He doesn’t smile, not exactly, but it’s not the pinched faced frown he wore most of day one in the Dome so it’s progress. It’s been almost a week since he first arrived so it’s slow progress at best. 

“I was headed to the mess for dinner. Have you eaten?” 

“Yes.” He clears his throat a little too loudly and his lips pull into a grimace. “Unfortunately, it’s Chinese night.” 

“If only we were stationed in the Hong Kong Dome.” She gives him a broad and genuine smile. “Next time I’ll have to catch you before you head to the mess. Then you’ll have no reason to say no.” 

“I am expected back in the lab this evening.” Gottlieb’s expression turns from sour to hopeful while Vanessa struggles to parse this segue. “If you are planning on visiting Dr. Geiszler tonight, I should also be in the lab.” 

“I think you can call him Newt,” she teases rather than giving him a straight answer.

Gottlieb scowls and his shoulders hunch up around his ears. “He would encourage such informality.” 

Vanessa laughs out loud at that because if using first names rubs Gottlieb the wrong way he is in no way prepared for the level of informality Newt prefers. “Yeah, I think I’ll stop by the lab after I eat and get cleaned up. I can bug Newt about whatever trouble he’s causing you.” 

She rushes through dinner so she can change and head to the lab, but she still spends most of that time remembering how Gottlieb blushed when she said goodbye.

***************  
“Come on, dude. You have to live a little. You cannot spend all your time covered in chalk dust.” Newt has already closed down his work station and Vanessa can tell he’s ten seconds from grabbing Gottlieb’s chair and rolling him out of the lab. 

“I fail to see how attending a ‘Movie Night’ is more important than finishing my calculations.”

“I fail to see harrumph harrumph harrumph! You are the crotchetiest not old dude I’ve ever met.”   
Vanessa steps in before things escalate too far. “Dr. Gottlieb, you should come with us. Your work will still be here in the morning. Dome-wide movie nights are a rare thing.” She can see Gottlieb’s resolve cracking but she hasn’t won him over yet. “And if it’s terrible, I’ll let you leave thirty minutes in.” There’s a pause before Gottlieb sighs dramatically and Newt lets out a whoop of victory. 

She listens as they bicker all the way to Launch Bay 2. Rows of chairs and piles of cushions have been laid out in front of make shift screen and borrowed holo-projector. They manage to snag three chairs near the end of a row closest to the door. Newt sits on her right and Gottlieb to her left. 

“I don’t see why you needed me to come.” Gottlieb keeps his voice low and glances past Vanessa to where Newt is shoveling popcorn into his face and leaning over Tendo Choi to say something to the J-tech crewmember sitting in front of them. 

“I didn’t need you to come. I wanted you to come. Movies are more fun with friends.” 

His eyes cut back to Vanessa. “Is that what we are?” 

“We could be. I’d like to be anyway.” 

Gottlieb studies her for a moment, until Newt leans over and snags the beer Vanessa’s been cradling in her hands. He takes a long pull and hands it back. Gottlieb looks disgusted and Vanessa simply rolls her eyes. 

To his credit, Gottlieb manages to sit through nearly forty minutes of the terrible action flick the pilots picked out and only hisses at Newt to “Be quiet! Some of us are trying to watch the film!” before he gives up and stomps back to the lab. Vanessa likes him even more for it. 

***************  
“So, you’ve written equations that can predict when the breach will open?” 

Gottlieb stands several rungs up his ladder, bringing his knees even with Vanessa’s shoulder. “Not yet. I’m getting close. Every kaiju attack gives me more data with which I can perfect the model.” 

Vanessa watches him scribble frantically then lean back to read over the chalk lines before wiping away the last two variables and rewriting them. She likes watching him work, likes watching his mind whirl as confidently as the diesel engines that pull Dash’s muscle strands. It’s a lot easier and more organized to see how the outcome could benefit the PPDC than Newt’s research. Newt makes great discoveries but his process is more like a kid with his first chemistry set than a strict scientific method. 

“How did you go from writing computer programs to studying the breach?”  
“Computer programs are just applied mathematics.” Gottlieb stops writing and stares down at her. “It’s about being as prepared as one can be.” 

She smiles at him without even meaning to. He’s been in the Dome just over a month and that smile is automatic now. Anytime they talk, she finds herself grinning even if he isn’t. “Preparation is fine but how do we stop them coming through in the first place?”

Gottlieb scowls back at his equations. “I’m getting there, Ms. Clarke.” 

“You can call me Vanessa, you know.” 

“I know.” He doesn’t bother to look back at her. It’s an old argument by now. 

Vanessa leans against the chalk board Gottlieb has rolled into the shared work space while he continues to scribble away. She’s more interested in the way his eyes scrunch and his knuckles tap against the black slate while he thinks than in the numbers themselves. She keeps watching him until an insistent pull at her elbow brings her back to reality. 

“Vanessa, I’m hungry,” Newt whines. He’s been working for hours without coming up for air and likely skipped his lunch. 

She shakes him off and turns back to Gottlieb. “What do you say, Gottlieb? Dinner?” 

He keeps scribbling away, head leaning so close to the board that his pursed lips nearly skim the chalk. “No. I need to finish this calculation before I leave for the night.” 

“All right, well you tell me when they’re coming and I’ll go punch them for you.” 

Newt is already pulling her out of the lab when Gottlieb calls out. “Ranger Clarke, I appreciate the value you place on my work.” He gestures to Newt from his ladder and his cheeks turn pink. “Our work.” 

“Of course. We’re all fighters here, just in different ways.” 

Gottlieb graces her with a small smile and a solemn nod as Newt continues to pull her toward the door. She shakes him off again. “Hey Gottlieb, next time you can ask me to dinner, okay?” 

This time Newt does pull her through the door before Gottlieb can respond. 

***************  
“He’s terrible! He’s no fun, like, at all. He can’t take a joke. He doesn’t like music in the lab. Not even just my music, any music, and I swear I’m going to strangle him and feed him to the next thing that comes through the breach.” Newt’s voice reaches critical levels of both squeakiness and shoutiness. It cracks and echoes against the lab walls and chalk boards. “He can just… just disappear back to wherever he came from!” 

“Berlin.” Vanessa flips slowly through a math journal she’s nicked from Gottlieb’s bookshelf. She holds it above her face as she reclines on the battered lab couch. 

“What?” 

“He came from Berlin. He was working at a PPDC facility there before Pentecost pulled him to the front.” 

Newt is silent long enough that Vanessa sits up to make sure he’s not booby trapping Gottlieb’s side of the lab. He’s just staring at her, sleeves rolled up to show off bursts of color and hands on his hips. 

“What?”

“You’re still stalking him! Come on, Vanessa. Even if there’s no other single man in this Dome under the age of eighty, you can’t be serious. He’s… he’s terrible! And not cute. His stupid hair cut is enough to make my dick wither.”

“Not mine,” Vanessa shoots back. “And I haven’t been stalking him. I’ve been talking to him. You should try it sometime instead of shouting over him.”

Newt sticks out his tongue and goes back to sawing away at kaiju tissue. “You didn’t even come down here to see me, did you? You’ve been hanging out waiting to catch a glimpse of your new boyfriend.” 

She’s briefly tempted to throw the journal at his head but the image of Gottlieb finding his books covered in kaiju blue is not a pretty one. “Piss off. He’s not my boyfriend and I came to see you too. Too bad you’re such a dick today.” 

There’s a moment of charged silence before a new voice tentatively speaks up. “Am I interrupting?” 

Vanessa rises from the couch and spins away from Newt. Gottlieb is standing just inside the lab door, a cup of coffee clutched in his good hand. His brows are drawn together as he looks worriedly between Vanessa and Newt. 

A smile spreads across Vanessa’s face without her conscious permission to do so. “Newt’s just throwing a temper tantrum. He’ll get over it.” She chooses to ignore the sputtering of indignation coming from behind her back. 

Gottlieb nods and shuffles awkwardly to his desk. Vanessa gives him a moment to pat the already neatly stacked papers and run his hands over the meticulously organized equipment on his workspace before striding across the fresh line of yellow tape dividing the lab. Gottlieb looks up, then past her to nervously glance at Newt. 

“I borrowed this to read this morning. I don’t understand any of it but it was interesting.” She thrusts the journal toward him, suddenly nervous that maybe Gottlieb won’t find her habit of assuming lab materials are community property as endearing as Newt does. 

He takes the journal and strokes a thumb along the unbroken spine. “Ranger Clarke, if my presence is causing problems between you and Dr. Geizsler, I apologize.” 

“Newt’s just cranky. He’ll get over it.” 

“Still, though I enjoy your company-” Gottlieb pauses there to take a deep breath and dart his tongue across his lips, “I don’t wish to cause tension in your relationship. We should restrict the time we spend together if it would make Dr. Geizsler more comfortable.” His face settles into a sour scowl as he finishes speaking and looks to Vanessa. 

She’s a little bit shocked to be honest. It’s been pretty obvious she’s been flirting with him. Not just flirting, but flirting with _intent_. Vanessa glances over her shoulder to see Newt studiously ignoring them. That’s not going to last long. She moves a little closer to him and drops her voice. “Newt and I aren’t in a relationship. We’re friends, best friends, but we’re not together.”

Gottlieb’s face immediately falls into a slack jawed look of shock. “But I asked and you said you were close!” 

“You didn’t ask. You almost asked and I almost answered.”

“You didn’t say you weren’t together!” 

“Because you didn’t ask! And I shouldn’t have to say it. If I’m flirting with you, there’s a reason.” Vanessa rolls her shoulders back and down and takes a deep breath to keep from strangling this man. 

Newt takes advantage of the brief break in conversation to interject. “Um, guys? I can hear you and I’m gayer than Liberace’s Christmas decorations so ew. Not that you’re not pretty, Vanessa, you know, for a girl and all but still. Nope, sorry.” 

Gottlieb rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like foul language in German. 

Vanessa’s about to open her mouth again, either to berate him for being so obtuse or to snap at Newt for not pretending he couldn’t hear them, or maybe to just tell the man to get over himself and ask her to dinner or at least to call her Vanessa for Christ’s sake, but the kaiju alarm from LOCCENT whines to life above their heads. 

“Kaiju Alert. Delta Dash report to Bay 4. Category 2 Kaiju. Codename Brawler. Delta Dash report to Bay 4.”

Vanessa feels it immediately. The edges of her mouth curl up to turn her smile predatory. Her thighs tense and her abs clench. She wants to _run_. The urge to push off from the starting blocks and use her powerful legs to hurl herself toward danger, toward the kaiju, is as strong as a physical force. She takes a deep breath and flutters her eyes closed to keep from sprinting from the room. 

When she opens her eyes, Gottlieb is staring at her as if he might be sick. 

“Well, doc, they’re playing my song.” She tries to rein in her expression to keep Gottlieb from being scared of how much she wants to roll her shoulders and crack her knuckles in preparation of a good fight. He nods, still looking thunderstruck. 

“Hey, Vanessa! Be careful, okay?” With Newt’s quiet words, their bickering is forgotten 

She tosses him a smile as she turns to the door. “See you when I’m done kicking some ass.” 

Then she does run. She sprints from the lab toward the launch bay to suit up, propelling herself forward, to Carmen and to Delta Dash and ultimately toward Brawler. 

Carmen’s already suited up and the J-techs are adding the spinal attachment when Vanessa skids into the bay. The yellow lights of the loading bay reflect off Carmen’s mocha colored skin and cause her eyes glow like a banked fire. She’s always been quieter, more controlled than Vanessa but she understands how Vanessa’s heart races, how absolutely feral she feels in moments like this. That’s why they work so well together, on the track and in a jaeger. Vanessa is all passion and fire while Carmen is control and precision. 

“Ready?” Carmen asks as the crew snaps Vanessa’s drivesuit plates into place. In all the years Vanessa’s known her, she’s always been a woman of few words. But her mind spins as quickly and actively as Vanessa’s in the drift. 

“Absolutely.” 

They strap into the con pod, feet clicking into Dash’s pistons as if they always belong there. Carmen takes the right hemisphere and Vanessa the left. Before the neural handshake is initiated, almost from the moment she connects to the metal beast, Vanessa can feel Dash in her mind. Dash was built to be fast, to use momentum for maximum and deadly effect, so her weapons are minimal. Much like Vanessa and Carmen, she uses her body to outmaneuver and outlast an opponent. 

They’re released from the bay and told to hold the Miracle Mile off Anchorage. It’s a standard order from Pentecost, and it plays well to Delta Dash’s strengths. She can set up a defensive position and see the kaiju coming miles off. They take up position and hold, waiting for sensors to pick up their incoming enemy. 

The anticipation of standing thigh deep in the Arctic waters pulls Vanessa’s shoulders tight as bowstrings. It’s only a few minutes before the spiked back of the kaiju breaks the surface several hundred yards in front of them. Vanessa sees it through Dash’s eyes before the proximity alerts ring in her ears. Scales and spikes arch back under the water as Brawler swims toward them. 

Most pilots speak to each other in the drift, even though they don’t really have to. Vanessa and Carmen never say a word. It drives LOCCENT crazy. They move as one, they think as one, and it never occurs to them to call out unnecessary explanations. 

Dash’s knees bend, her elbows pull in to her torso, and she lets loose. Vanessa and Carmen push off the seafloor and Dash shoot forward. Her head lowers as she charges. 

The kaiju shoots up, four arms spread wide, and Dash barrels into its chest. The impact topples the kaiju backwards into the sea and Vanessa and Carmen keep pushing. There’s a sickening snap as the scaled spikes visible early snap in half when the creature hits bottom with Dash’s full weight resting on its chest. 

It howls and Carmen plants her arm next to its head for leverage while Vanessa delivers three quick jabs to its throat. Kaiju blue spills out into the water around them. 

Brawler manages to get one set of arms between its chest and Dash. It flings Dash backward and they land in a heap, Carmen’s leg bent awkwardly underneath them. 

_Go!_ both Vanessa and Carmen yell in their minds as Carmen pushes off that twisted leg and Dash shoots forward in a sprint. This time they turn away from the kaiju, enticing it to follow them into shallower water where they’ll have more leverage to push against the rocky sea bottom. 

It follows them immediately. As the water recedes, its steps become slower, more lumbering. Dash comes to a halt just inside the Miracle Mile, Anchorage’s coast well behind them, before turning and lowering a shoulder to take the impact of 2000 tons of angry kaiju. Their feet dig great trenches in the dirt as Brawler pushes them down and away. Carmen lands a few punches to its torso as they tangle together. Vanessa wraps a giant hand around its throat and squeezes. 

The kaiju flails before gripping Dash’s back with sharp talons and tearing. Vanessa can feel it as surely as it were her own skin being torn from her ribs. More than the pain, though, is anger. She’s angry that something, anything, would dare try to tear Dash apart. She feels the answering rage in Carmen’s mind and thinks _Fuck this_. 

They grasp Brawler around the shoulders and toss it into the side of a large rock protruding from the sea several dozen yards away. Its head snaps back and before it can pull itself together, Vanessa and Carmen are there. Dash slams into the kaiju and Carmen pulls up her arm to pin it to the rock. It thrashes and howls but Vanessa pulls back her arm and, lining Dash’s wrist up with the creature’s eye, flips a switch in the con pod to deploy a large, thick harpoon. 

The pointed metal spike sails out from the underside of Dash’s wrist and slices neatly through Brawler’s eye. The force is enough to send the harpoon deep into Brawler’s skull. Vanessa immediately retracts the weapon along it’s attached tow line. The kaiju doesn’t have a chance to stop screaming before Vanessa lines up and deploys the harpoon again, this time sending the spike through the kaiju’s chest. The harpoon embeds all the way into the rock this time. 

In one fluid motion, Carmen and Vanessa’s arms shift places. Vanessa plants Dash’s left elbow on the kaiju’s throat, crushing what serves as a windpipe in the beast, while Carmen slides a vicious set of knives from Dash’s right arm. She carves a deep gash in the kaiju’s torso, cutting up from groin to where Dash’s arm rests on its neck. Organs and kaiju blue spill out into the sea as the creature slumps against the rock face. Vanessa severs the tow line and leaves the harpoon buried in the creature’s chest. 

Dash steps back and the kaiju slips a little further into the sea but stays mostly stretched against the rock. The harpoon tears a ragged hole in its chest until it comes to rest against bone. 

Carmen and Vanessa take a few ragged breaths together, Dash’s chest plate pulsing in time with their lungs. Finally, Vanessa flips the com switch to talk to LOCCENT. 

“Delta Dash reporting in. Kaiju codename Brawler deceased.” She pauses to smile at Carmen. “We left the clean up crews a little present pinned to a rock just inside the Miracle Mile.” 

Pentecost’s voice crackles through Dash’s speakers. “Good work, Rangers. We will dispatch helicopters to bring you in.” 

Carmen answers him this time. “No need, Marshall. We’ll be home on our own.” 

Dash turns, Carmen and Vanessa bend their knees before pushing off the rocky bottom, and they run. 

***************  
Vanessa feels battered and bruised by the time the crew has her out of Dash’s con pod. Protocol next sends them to LOCCENT, before they’re even out of their drivesuits, to report directly to Pentecost. 

She’s not surprised to see Newt there. He always puts down the scalpel and watches her fights from the best seats in the house. He’ll fully admit that he wants to see the kaiju in action, but if pressed and teased in just the right way, he’ll also admit that he worries. Vanessa’s more surprised to see Gottlieb with him. Surprised but not unhappy, even if she’s covered in sweat and grime and engine oil. 

Vanessa stares across the room to where Gottlieb fidgets and Newt smirks, until Carmen elbows her in the ribs to bring her attention back to Pentecost and Tendo Choi. She has to turn away to keep from watching the scientists during the rest of her debriefing. Normally, Newt would have gone back to the lab by now but he’s staying close to Gottlieb as they loiter near the door. 

When Pentecost is satisfied with their report, and Tendo has taken all the notes he cares to take, they are dismissed with a sharp nod. Carmen runs her hand along Vanessa’s back in a silent, tactile goodbye as she ducks out of LOCCENT and disappears into the halls of the Shatterdome. Vanessa stops just before the door, facing Newt and Gottlieb. 

“Enjoy the show?” Vanessa directs the question directly to Gottlieb with a quirk of her eyebrow. 

Newt snorts and crosses his arms. He leans back against an empty console as Gottlieb spares a moment to scowl at him. 

“Yes, you and Ranger Williams fought very efficiently. You took advantage of both the terrain and the kaiju’s weaknesses.” Gottlieb’s cheeks stain pink. “It was very impressive.” 

Adrenaline from the fight is still pulsing through her veins and now this man, who is so hard to please, is complimenting her on the one thing she wants to do more, and better, than anything else. The only thing that keeps Vanessa from grabbing Gottlieb and kissing him right there is the thought that he may never speak to her again. Either because of the kiss itself, because Newt will tease him about it later, or because it’s in front of the entire LOCCENT staff. She can see any of those scenarios pushing Gottlieb over the edge. 

She sees a moment of realization click in his eyes. Gottlieb reaches forward, toward the collection of narrow braids slung over her shoulder. He stops awkwardly halfway to her shoulder. His hand hovers in the space between them. “The beads in your hair... They match Delta Dash’s markings.” He sounds a bit awed by it. 

“Yes, I like to keep her with me even when we’re not together. We’re connected.” Vanessa shrugs and the beads clink together and against her drivesuit. “And I like red and yellow.” 

The drivesuit boots make her even taller than normal and Gottlieb stands half a head shorter than she is. He stands as tall as he can, shoulders rolling back and pulling taut, before speaking. “Ranger Clarke- Vanessa, I’d be honored if you’d allow me to escort you to dinner this evening.” 

Vanessa has to run those words through her head a second time to make sure she really understands what he’s saying. Her pause leaves just enough time for Newt to chime in.

“Dude, you go to dinner together all the time. You can’t take her to the mess, you have to get outta the Dome on a date.” 

“That’s what I meant!” Gottlieb snaps. He turns back to Vanessa and his gaze slides sheepishly to the floor. “I meant we could go into Anchorage for the evening. You did just save the city so a decent meal is the least you deserve in gratitude.”

“So this is gratitude?” Vanessa needs to clarify that right now. She’s dated men for the wrong reasons before, or they’ve just not been on the same page about what they wanted, and it’s not a path she intends to go down again. Especially not, if she’s honest with herself, with someone she likes as much as she likes Gottlieb. 

He’s shaking his head sharply from side to side before she’s even finished with the question. “No, that’s not what I meant.” His knuckles go white against the top of his cane and he pushes his chin up another notch. “I want to take you to dinner.” 

That’s reasoning Vanessa can agree with. “I have to report to medical for the standard post-encounter check up, but after I could murder some seafood.” 

Newt outrights laughs at that and Gottlieb even cracks a smile. That’s something she could get used to causing. 

“I’ll meet you back in the lab after I grab a shower,” Vanessa says. 

Gottlieb pats his palms across the front of his rumpled sweater vest and frowns down at it. “Yes, yes, of course. Back in the lab whenever you’re ready.” 

Vanessa turns to leave but can still hear Newt’s too loud stage whisper to Gottlieb. “Dude, I told you it wouldn’t be hard. You were fine. She was going to say yes. Just relax.” Vanessa’s out into the hall before she can make out Gottlieb’s biting response. 

She nearly runs into Carmen as she turn to head to the medical bay. 

Vanessa pulls up short and jerks her arms up in a _What?_ motion. They’re still connected, even if it’s just a lingering shadow of what it was. Words still feel superfluous. 

“The new scientist?” Carmen laughs as Vanessa loops an arm around her neck. 

“Shut up. Come on, let’s get to med. I’ve got a date.” 

***************  
Her dress is blue, a bright blue that stands out against her dark skin. And it’s tight and short. Much tighter and shorter than she usually wears. But she needs to do something to shake Hermann up. 

They’ve been seeing each other for weeks. It’s not a long time, objectively, but when you’re stuck in the pressure cooker of the Dome with your new love interest 24/7 and looking down the barrel of the end of the world, it feels like a long time. Vanessa can handle seeing Hermann for a long time, for ages and ages if he’ll stick around, but what she can’t handle is the lack of sex she’s currently facing. 

Weeks of dates into Anchorage and late evenings in each other’s quarters, but nothing more than some enthusiastic kissing. She’s felt his bony fingers grip her waist and the back of her neck but never dipping down to her hips or curling up into her hair. That needs to end tonight. 

So, the short and tight dress is coming out, along with a pair of black peep toe heels and dark red lipstick. Vanessa skips the stockings out of an incredibly optimistic fantasy that Hermann may actually touch her legs. The ensemble isn’t really practical for Anchorage, even in the ever increasing warmth of spring, but desperate times call for desperate measures and all that. She tosses a long, thick coat over her arm in deference to the chilly night air. 

She meets Hermann at his quarters, and if he were any man she’s dated, he would have just pulled her inside and forgotten all about their plans to go out. The dress hugs her thighs, showing off how strong and thick they are, her arms are bare and the definition of her biceps obvious, and her tits look fantastic. She made sure before she left her room. Hermann barely seems to notice. 

He shows no deeper interest as dinner wears on. Their conversation is easy and fun, like it has been since Hermann’s early days in the Dome, but Vanessa still wishes he’d take notice of effort and what she’s trying to tell him through it. So, it might be mostly spite that makes Vanessa drag him to a club after dinner. 

It’s everything Hermann hates in an evening out: loud music, a pushy crowd, and dancing. Or what Hermann will loudly complain is writhing and grinding and not dancing at all. But the bass pounds deep in Vanessa’s veins and she can’t feel sorry that he’s sitting at a table, sipping on a beer, while she dances a bit. She won’t keep him out too long; she still has plans for him after all. 

The thrumming of the music and the swing of her hips gets her blood up enough to forget about the initial disappointment of Hermann’s lack of response to how obviously sexy she is tonight. She turns to leave the dance floor, to head back to his table, but stops short when she catches his eye. He’s watching her. Not just looking at her, but watching her with _intent_. 

_Oh. Maybe one more song._ Vanessa steps back, deeper into the crowd but keeping herself turned toward Hermann and in his line of sight. He drags his tongue across his lower lip and it shines in the weak lighting of the club. His eyes stay locked on Vanessa as she dips and sways with the music. Hermann doesn’t keep eye contact, instead his eyes move over her curves and dart down to where the hem of her dress meets her legs. The roaming gaze sends heat down Vanessa’s spine and between her legs. 

She doesn’t make it to the end of the song. Vanessa has never been known for her patience and she has a series of false start penalties to prove it. When she walks off the floor this time, she lets her hips slink and sway and makes sure to accentuate the heel-toe click of her shoes and length of her stride all the way to Hermann’s table. She hesitates only briefly before planting a knee on the cushion of the chair between Hermann’s thighs and leaning slightly over him to grasp the chairback in her hand. 

“Hey.” 

“Ah, hello.” Despite the beer, his voice rasps out from a dry throat. His fingers twitch and grip the sides of the chair and Vanessa smiles. 

“You were staring.” 

Hermann’s knuckles go white. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I wanted you to look.” 

His eyes open wider and his lips curl into a soft _oh_. Vanessa curls herself forward and, at the last second, Hermann surges up to meet her. Their lips press together, hard and dry, and Hermann’s tongue sweep across Vanessa’s top lip almost immediately. She opens for him and pushes back, her tongue sweeping and licking into his mouth. Vanessa pulls back just enough to make Hermann strain upward and chase her to keep their mouths sealed together. 

They kiss until Hermann’s hands grip her hips, fingers digging into soft flesh just above the curve of her ass. Finally, her hips and not her waist or some other sedate and platonic place. Even if that’s all that comes of tonight, she’ll feel the dress has done its job. She scratches her nails down his chest and Hermann whimpers into her mouth. The dress has done its job but Vanessa certainly doesn’t plan on letting it rest there. This is too good an opportunity to miss. 

Vanessa catches Hermann’s bottom lip in a gentle tug before pulling back. “Let’s go back to the Dome.” 

She steps back from his chair and he’s quickly on his feet. Vanessa catches Hermann’s hand as she leads him back onto the cold Anchorage street and Hermann twists their knuckles together in a tight squeeze. 

They manage to catch a cab and spend the ride back to the edge of the Shatterdome property in silence. Vanessa pulls their entwined hands to rest on her bare thigh, just above the knee, and Hermann leaves them there. These small victories send a thrill up her spine. 

Hermann does drop her hand, with a comforting squeeze, when they enter the land facing side of the Dome. She lets him get away with it. He’s made it clear over the past few weeks that public displays of affection are not his thing and she can only fight so many battles at once. Vanessa will settle for advancing their private displays of affection tonight. 

He falters when it comes time to turn either toward her quarters or his. Vanessa makes the decision and walks down the hall leading to his room. Hermann’s awkward about everything and she’ll spare him the additional awkwardness of deciding when to leave. She can handle pulling a dress back over her head and sneaking through the Dome late at night. At least, she hopes that’s what’s about to happen. 

To his credit, Hermann doesn’t falter, doesn’t hesitate, when he urges Vanessa through the round, metal door and into his room. She makes it three steps into the room then Hermann is pressing her back against the bulkhead wall. He has to lean up to bring their mouths together in sloppy, hurried kisses. Vanessa doesn’t stretch her neck down to make his task easier. She likes that’s he’s willing to do the work to finish this since she did so much to get them here. It feels a bit like repayment. 

She tangles fingers in his hair and loops the other arm around his shoulders. His hands have been kneading the flesh on her hips since the kiss began. It’s a testament to Hermann’s ability, or maybe just to how much she wants this, that she doesn’t notice his hands creeping up her ribcage until the edge of his thumb strokes along the bottom of her breast. It’s tentative and slow and he’s still kissing her with the same distracting force. 

_Fuck this,_ Vanessa thinks. If she’s going to get felt up, she’s going to be aware enough to enjoy it. She pulls back, letting her head thunk against the wall. Hermann’s lips fall to her throat. Not kissing, but not exactly still either. More like he’s murmuring against her skin. What has gone still is his thumb and that’s the exact opposite of what Vanessa wants. She slides her hand from Hermann’s shoulders down his arm until her fingers lay on top of Hermann’s.   
Hermann’s lips stop moving in their tiny caresses and his breath catches. “Vanessa?” His question is tentative and quiet. 

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she guides his hand to cup her breast. Vanessa squeezes, wrapping his fingers around its curve, to show him the right level of pressure to start. She’ll want more later and she’s not afraid to show him again when the time comes. He’s smart enough to learn things the first time around and Vanessa definitely intends there to be a repeat performance. 

His fingers drag across her breast, scratching the fabric of the dress she only wishes were now on the floor, before cupping it again. Hermann’s fingertips rub gently at the curve of her breast as his tongue swipes across the hollow of her throat. 

The pad of his thumb drags across her nipple over and over as he keeps licking and sucking on her throat. A hot spike of desire travels from where her nipple strains against the lace of her bra directly to her clit. Vanessa can feel it throb as she grows hot and slick in her panties. She hates that she wore them at all. 

This feels great. Wonderful even, but it’s putting Vanessa in a position that’s far too passive for her to be comfortable with for long. The urge to push back, to take control, burns under her skin. It itches and crawls as surely as a drivesuit rash. So push she does. 

Vanessa maneuvers Hermann backward until his calves hit the low metal shelf that passes for a bed in this place and he plunks onto the mattress. She clambers into his lap, her knees locked on either side of his hips and her teeth nipping against his jaw. 

“God, Vanessa.” He’s managed to get one hand back on her breast without any encouragement and the other winds around her waist to bring her closer. 

Instead of a vocal response, Vanessa grinds down into his lap against the obvious ridge of his cock where it tents his sensible slacks. Now she really hates that she’s wearing underwear. They force her to be patient and that’s the last thing she needs right now. She uses her frustration to fuel deep, long kisses in an attempt to move slowly. To move more slowly than just ripping off his pants and riding him right now anyway. 

Hermann abandons her breasts but moves on to encourages her skirt up over the curve of her ass so she can forgive him. He barely makes it inside her panties, fingertips just skimming under the elastic band around her thigh, before the kaiju alarm goes off. 

“I swear to God I am going to close the breach with my own two hands.” Vanessa pulls her lips away and breathes heavily for a moment as Dash is called to the launch bay. “I will stuff it full of dead kaiju if I have to.” 

When she clambers off his lap, her legs are steady and she’s already rolling her shoulders and clenching her fists in preparation of a good fight. Hermann’s looking a little less steady. His hair is standing up at improbably angles, his shirt is rumpled and pulled from his waistband, and his erection stands out long and hard underneath his flies. Vanessa can’t resist pressing the heel of her hand against it and running her palm from root to tip. Hermann hisses between his teeth. 

“Keep that until I get back. This won’t take long.” Vanessa strides out of Hermann’s bunk, barely remembering to tug her dress into place before entering the now lively hall. 

***************  
The fight takes hours. The kaiju is a category 3 and gigantic. It’s got to be pushing a category 4 and it’s _fast_. They get battered and it feels like the thing bites through Vanessa’s own leg when it chomps down on Dash. 

When she makes it back to LOCCENT for her debrief, sweaty, dirty, and hurting, Hermann is there. Erection thankfully subsided because she’s pretty sure he’d need to see a doctor about that by now. But he’s there. He’s trying to keep his face neutral but she can see the relief when she walks in and then the worry settle back into place when he sees the state of her. 

She and Carmen report to Pentecost as quickly and efficiently as they can. Vanessa has no energy for her normal snark or playfulness. She can feel Carmen’s exhaustion, both mental and physical, tugging at her own brain. It becomes a feedback loop and the copilots drain each other’s remaining energy quickly. She watches Hermann’s concerned face peeking around Pentecost. She wishes she could kill that kaiju all over again for ruining her night. 

They are dismissed and her shoulders slump. She spins on her heel and strides from the room with more energy than she feels. Vanessa expects Hermann to follow but he doesn’t. She is both relieved and irritated by that. The med techs poke and prod and x-ray. Vanessa silently runs the first part of the evening through her head over and over again. In contrast to the second portion, it feels surreal. And how fucked up is it that a date and a grope are the surreal part of her night? 

But that’s the point, in the end. Her life is monsters and robots and running. Not standing still long enough to fall for a grumpy scientist with soulful eyes. The best she can aim for is a quick fuck, maybe an occasional thing when itches need scratched, and friendship before she and Carmen inevitably get moved to another dome. This whole thing she had started with Hermann, that she had tried to build, was foolish. She’s just going to end up crushed to death or flooded under icy seas in a sinking tin can. Hermann’s not a quick fuck, even if that’s what she wanted at this point, so best to just let this go. Let it go before it’s harder to put down than a Category 4. 

It’s easy to think, easy to make decisions in a vacuum, until Vanessa sees his worried face waiting outside her room when she returns from her medical exam. She’s bandaged and bruised but nothing is seriously wrong. She, Carmen, and Dash will be off rotation for a few weeks, if a kaiju decides to show its ugly head in that time. Pentecost will probably keep them out of the next fight no matter when it happens. 

“I’m tired.” Vanessa can’t really articulate the bone deep weariness she feels. She feels it through her muscles and tendons and all the way into spirit. Sleeping for a thousands years couldn’t solve it. The weight of what she has to say to Hermann settles like a stone in her gut. 

“I know.” Hermann exudes a kind of stillness that is comforting in almost any situation, but more so now. “I just… I needed to see that you were unharmed.” 

She doesn’t want to face this tonight. Doesn’t want to turn Hermann away for good or argue with him. Will he even put up a fight? She clears her throat and straightens her spine. “I’m fine. I just need to sleep for a few hours.” 

“More than a few hours, I should think.” Hermann’s voice is soft as he reaches forward to capture Vanessa’s fingers. She watches them, for just a moment, as his pale, knobby knuckles twist with hers before pulling away. The immediate loss of heat and pressure causes her throat to constrict and a band of hot steel to tighten across her chest. But if that’s what it takes to get through this, then that’s what she’ll bear. 

She takes a deep breath while Hermann still stares at her in confusion. “This isn’t going to work.” 

“I didn’t expect us to pick up where we left off earlier this evening.” His mouth twists in a snide curl. Of course he would assume that she was insulting his gentlemanly timing. It took her long enough to get him on the same sexy page that she would never expect him to push his luck there. 

“I don’t mean tonight. I mean ever. At all.” 

“What?” 

“Us, Hermann. We’re not going to work.” Vanessa scrubs a hand across her tired face. “I don’t even know what we were really doing with this, but it’s not working. I’m a pilot and-”

“And I’m a scientist and the two can never go together. Is that it?” Hermann’s interruption is venomous and sad all at once. 

“No. And if you say that again, I will beat your ass. Jesus, I spend more time in your lab than I do in the training gym. I did even before you got here.” She takes another deep breath to steady herself, to pull them back on track even if it’s just a dead end rail. “I’m a pilot and I have to be out there at a moment’s notice doing terrible, and wonderful, things that I may not come back from. I can’t be involved with anyone right now.” There. She’d said it. It was out there and this was over. It hurt her heart but it was better than watching her life change from pleasant and content as a jaeger pilot to perfect and bubbling over with joy as a jaeger pilot who loves someone only to leave him standing in LOCCENT as they haul her broken jaeger back from some watery hole someday. 

“That’s absolute shit.” Hermann’s voice is so calm, so matter of fact, it knocks Vanessa back.

“Excuse me? It wasn’t up for debate.” For someone who has trained under others and taken orders her whole professional life, she’s really terrible at being questioned. 

“You’re right. If you’ve already made up your mind, there’s nothing I can say that will change it.” He pulls his chin up and his shoulders back and Vanessa can already feel her resolve crumbling in the face of his determination. “But, you like a fight. You love a fight. And I’m going to give you one. This is absolute shit.” 

She smiles at him. She can’t help it. “As far as opening blows go, it’s not a very good one.”

Hermann’s mouth thins and he doesn’t back down. “You’re afraid. And that’s fine. It’s fine to be afraid. I’m afraid of the kaiju all the time. I’m afraid of what the kaiju will do to you. We have to fight them but that doesn’t mean that’s all we have to do. We can’t just fight the kaiju, we have to… live and be ourselves too. I’m loath to admit it, but this is one area in which Newton excels beyond both of us.” 

“Newt is a pro at not letting his fear get the better of him.”

“Or his better judgment.” 

There’s a quiet moment where they just smile at each other. Then, Vanessa takes his hand again. “Stay with me.” 

“Yes, but only if you mean for more than tonight.” 

“Yes.” 

Hermann squeezes their hands together, palms pressed together and fingertips digging into the back of her hand. “I promise to never say anything as ridiculously sentimental as that ever again.” 

That pulls an exhausted bark of laughter from deep in Vanessa’s chest. “Liar. You’re one of the most ridiculously sentimental people I’ve ever met. You just keep it hidden.” 

Hermann bristles. “I am not. I deal in numbers and facts and-”

“Blah, blah, blah. I’m exhausted. Can we have this argument tomorrow?” She pulls Hermann through the door and leads him to the bed. Vanessa’s halfway through simultaneously shimming out of her cargo pants and pulling her PPDC sweater over her head when Hermann’s voice perks up again. 

“Is that the only argument we’re going to have tomorrow?” 

She tosses the sweater to the ground but leaves her pants wrapped around her knees. “Yeah, I’m good with just that one.” 

“I didn’t mean to bully you or push too far but I just couldn’t walk away.” Hermann rubs a hand through the short hair on the back of his head, keeping his eyes locked somewhere around where Vanessa’s hands are planted on her bare hips. 

She sits on the edge of the bed and pats the space beside her. Hermann sits and props his cane against the foot of the bed. Vanessa hugs each knee close to her chest as she unlaces her boots. She lets the silence sit between them until both heavy boots hit the floor. “You didn’t. You were right to call me on it this time. But don’t do it again. Next time I break up with you, I’ll mean it.” She bumps her shoulder against Hermann’s to cut the seriousness of her words. 

He snorts. “You can’t honestly expect me to walk away without a fight then either.” 

“No?” She laughs.

“No.”

“Got something worth fighting for here?”

Hermann looks at her, really stares at her, with eyes serious and hard as stone. “I think so, yes.” 

She feels that red hot band snap around her chest again, but much more welcome this time. “Good. I can work with that.” Vanessa stands and shoves her cargo pants to the floor, leaving her in just PPDC issue black briefs and matching sports bra. All her cuts, bruises, and weary muscles are on display. She motions to the bed. “Are you sleeping here or not?” 

Hermann toes off his shoes and tries to cover the hole in the toe of his sock before she can see. She waves him into the bed with a smile. He lies flat on his bag, one shoulder pressed to the wall, and Vanessa spreads herself out half on top of him, half next to him. “It’s a sign of how tired I am that I’m letting you keep your clothes on.” 

She can feel the huff of his laugh against the braids on the crown of her head. Hermann wiggles until he can wrap an arm around her shoulders, his fingernails scratching lighting against her skin. 

Vanessa presses her face into the side of Hermann’s neck and breathes him in. “I’m going to sleep for twelve hours and if you’re still here when I wake up, I’m going to strip you naked and ride you until I can’t move.”

This time it’s a gentle kiss pressed to her hair. “Your fair warning is duly noted. I’ll be here. Go to sleep, love.”

The bed is too warm, Hermann’s sweater vest scratches her arms, and he sweats against her. Vanessa has never slept better.


End file.
